"This is how it should be" torments me. If only someone had been there – Between Self-righteousness and Buddhist Connection

on

While Browse note, one post caught my eye. "Humans must only pursue correctness." "What is not correct will be eliminated." "The idea that it's okay not to be correct is unacceptable." Such sentiments were boldly asserted.

As I read it, I felt an instant flash of irritation. It was like being slapped by someone I'd never even met. Why such certainty? Why such an insistence on "correctness"? Doesn't that phrasing sound as if to say, "Anything other than my correctness is incorrect"?

However, I also thought: Is this not an anxiety and fear towards a world where "incorrect things have a place," and a rejection of one's own standing being relativized? It struck me as nothing but self-righteousness, and that impression is certainly not off the mark. Yet, seeing this, I suddenly recalled an anecdote about a Myokonin I once heard.

Learning from the Anecdote of Ishibashi Jukan

This is a story I learned at a Dharma talk training session when I was still active as a Buddhist priest.

There was a man who boasted that he didn't believe in Buddhism at all. His name was Ishibashi Jukan (石橋壽閑). He was a logical man who tried to overcome Buddhism with reason. But one day, his young daughter died of illness.

On her deathbed, his daughter asked her father, "Father, where will I go when I die?"

Ishibashi could not answer. He, who had always found reasons and logic for everything, simply stood there speechless at this one question from his dearest daughter. Before that question, all his logic and reasoning were powerless. (Note 1)

He changed. He eventually became a person who bowed before the Buddha.

In the story I heard at the Dharma talk training session, it was conveyed as follows: Ishibashi secretly went to listen to a Dharma talk at the temple, trying to avoid being seen by anyone. Since he had always said, "There's no such thing as gods or Buddhas," he felt he couldn't show his face. In front of the main hall, as he listened to the Dharma talk hidden, he was discovered by other temple members who arrived late.

"What are you doing there, sir? If it's the Dharma talk you're after, please come inside the main hall."

He was warmly welcomed into the main hall. Seated in the front row of the listening seats, Ishibashi was saved by the precious teachings of Nenbutsu and the warm connection he found there.

The "Fear" at the Root of Self-righteousness

What I felt through the initial trigger was that self-righteousness (or what appears to be self-righteousness) is not a product of reason or strength. Rather, it is loneliness, sadness, and anxiety that make a person rigidly cling to "this is how it must be."

At its root is "fear." The fear that if one lets go of their own correctness, they will crumble──. Therefore, one cannot acknowledge the differences of others and is forced to denounce them as "wrong."

And so, one increasingly loses connections with others, and is forced to shut themselves in their self-righteousness, I believe.

It reminds me of the story of the prison chaplain I mentioned the other day (Note 2), but if only someone had been there beside them—someone who wasn't just giving irresponsible likes or being a yes-man… like Ishibashi-san, if they had received the warm connection from a temple and its members who welcomed them into the Nenbutsu fellowship, they wouldn't have had to spout such "poisonous righteousness" (dokuzen, a play on the word for self-righteousness). I couldn't help but put my hands together in prayer. Namu Amida Butsu…

Even "Irritation" is an Act of Buddhist Connection

Shinran Shonin, in the postscript to his Kyogyoshinsho, teaches, "With faith and obedience as the cause, and doubt and slander as the condition" (Note 3).

To gain faith, it is fine to have doubt first. Rather, doubt is a natural function of the human mind, and it is through that doubt that the opportunity to encounter the Dharma is first opened.

The "irritation" I felt this time might indeed be an act of such Buddhist connection. Even as I thought, "What is with this person?", that very thought led me back to the Dharma talk.

If even our stubbornness is an invitation from the Buddha, then how truly grateful we should be.

...Namu Amida Bu, Namu Amida Bu, Namu Amida Butsu...

（日本語版）「こうあるべき」が私を苦しめる。そのとき誰かが、そばにいたなら──独善と仏縁のはざまで

Notes:

Comments

Post a Comment